CRASH? BANG! WALLOP£

I, for one, am not afraid to admit, that at the time, really liked Test Icicles really thought it would be 'hilaroous' and 'oh-so-ironic' to pretend to like Test Icicles. I went to trolled a lot of their gigs and parties and spent many hours working out every morning to their 'For screening purposes only' album (thier only album).

Rory, being a thoroughly decent, agreeable and friendly chap never saw through my force-field-like outer shell of irony and at the few gigs I managed to do with them and their various side-projects was a thoroughly decent, agreeable and friendly chap, Dev however I couldn't help but feel saw through my sneering pretentions. Any time I would 'hilariously' bring up the band in front of people he would duck out of conversations or leave me hanging, then people would start ignoring me like some sort of idiot that isn't funny OR ironic, suddenly my outer shell was compromised and the real, non-ironic world was slipping in, maybe people didn't see my being ironically unfunny as ironically unfunny and saw me just as unfunny. Maybe people were taking everything I said I liked and said I wanted and said I did at face value, maybe people thought I actually was the person I presented myself as.

These and many more questions went through my head as I prepared to interview the Lightspeed champion who was flavour of the month at the time and possibly the first person I'd have to interview who openly didn't like me.

The interview actually went really well though, Dev was cool and didn't even remember who I was and my moment of self reflection was quickly forgotten as the irony field powered back up. 'LOL, I'm totally interviewing Lightspeed Champion hurrrrrrrrrrrr...

Notable quotes:

"Is that where you did it? Puked in the girl’s mouth I mean. Was she an American girl? Maybe she deserved it then. How do American girls react to guys puking on them? I’ve seen videos on the internets that suggest Japanese girls are all for it (NSFW)."

- Is this racist, I can't tell.

"Nigga Bullshit"

- This isn't racist because it says 'a' instead of 'er'.

"Do you think you might actually stick with it this time, or are we going to be receiving press releases about your ‘new’ band by the time we get back to the office?"

- My shields are like a shield of steel!

This article originally appeared on dontpaniconline.com

WORDS: SHORRN X

PHOTOGRAPHY: OLI LONGMORE