CRASH? BANG! WALLOP£

WARNING: SFC is about to go live.

Mainly due to blogspot not being the best place for posting blatantly illegal shit and the awful site templates they force you to use we've compromised some server space @ www.sucker-for-colour.com and will be relocating activity there in the near future. Feel free to check out the minimalist front page and brace yourselves for possibly the best thing to come from our camp since FITP was a print magazine. But what of the blog and what has gone before? We managed to track down some of the people we've featured over the years to see what became of them. Everyone featured here is still on the site.

MARTIN NU-ART:

Ignored all of our e-mails, probably still pissed off at the hack job we did with his i/view (we edit with chainsaws)

STEVIE THE PEDOPHILE:

Stevie is not really a pedophile and the whole thing turned out to be mere falsehoods and artistic fiction (only a fool would take what's written here as fact).

MR BANGKOK:

The man that fucked 300 whores. Apparently he's 'fine', still doesn't have AIDS and is going for the 1000 GET. We linked him to both of our articles about him (one here, one at DP.com) and he found them 'amusing'. Still banging on your system banging on your system probably on your system.

CAGE THE ELEPHANT:

Our favorite band guys ever. They did another album! We'll be following up with another i/view and may even be dragging them across to SFC with us.

THE BADICAL:

The first act to sign up with SFC (a creative agency). You should do this as well if you want to be like them (or us).

FRANK YANG:

Still a wanker.

DJ LIVELY:

His new album comes out next week. He's not worryed.

6 NATION STATES:

Who gives a shit? Like 99.9% of new bands they suck and never got anywhere. We haven't seen their manager since the time we saved a young lady from his hentai tentacle rape like fingers at our favorite ex's party. To be fair he was always the best and most interesting thing about that band though.

THE CAROLINES:

Kicked out drummer Richard (the best Caroline) and replaced him with someone we refuse to acknowledge in any fashion. Apparently they are busy recording a new album (dibs on doing the front cover again guys).

ODD FUTURE:

Became XBOX HEUG like we told you they would, old and stuffy music journalists that tried to hate take note. Your opinions are worthless, this is the internet, this is 2011.

BLOCKHE4D:

Are probably still upset about the whole /benz/ thing. Sorry guys but that's how we roll. Deal or no deal.

DIGI-WATT:

Fuck Digi-watt (you heard?)

DJ RESET slash SHORRNX slash MARCUS HALBERSTAMM slash whatever-the-fuck-he's calling himself this week:

Fuck that guy too (ur tunes suck).

ALLY:

Still dead off heroin.

BEARKNUCKLES:

Maybe still a band, maybe not. Only google knows. Only google cares.

KIDS WITH GUNS AND ART QUEADA

Preparing for the inevitable mega riots when the tories start cutting all the dole money later this year.

THE HEROIC NATION OF ISLAM:

Still hating on whites and jews, about as relevant to modern day Britain as the fucking BNP (nobody cares what they think).

WORDS: FITP ALL STARS
PHOTO: His name is Robert Paulson.